I Still Love You...Afterall

Love is a powerful thing.  We all feel it some point in our lives.  Whether it be from a parent, a friend, a lover, or a stranger.  The act of kindness is inevitably...love.  Love confuses some people, however.  Most of us cannot understand the origins of it or how it works.  Some say it's the warm fuzzies in our hearts.  Others say it's complete bliss.  I think it's what we have to offer to each other.  We all strive to find love.  Some find it in partners, some don't.  A realization came to me tonight.  Not only am I very much in love with someone I have known for 5 years now, but I am also in love with being in love.  That heartache you feel when someone you love passes away or moves on.  That's love...dying within you.  I have felt that.  That love is still always there but it slowly disintegrates throughout time.  Blown was my mind tonight.  I could not handle it so I broke down and had a good cry.  The night I fell in love with this person I started to cry as well.  I'm not sure why.  I've never cried on account of falling in love, just falling out of it.  I think what love is trying to tell me is...each time is different.  You will always feel wonderful and complete with it, but the person makes it different.  Now, I am of course talking about relationships.  I once found a love I could not be without.  It lasted a week.  I still feel it within me.  It is the strangest type of love I have ever encountered.  Almost child-like and worry free.  The love I have now is nothing like that.  It is more mature yet still fun.  I do worry sometimes.  This person is indescribable.  I know their flaws and I know I am in love with them as well.  Yes, some things annoy me but we work through it.  This love is so strange to me.  How have I not felt this before?  This love keeps me going.  I will not give up on myself because of this love.  It is now both my strength and weakness.  Moreso strength.  It is my courage...and I will carry on because of it.  I love you.